To be truthful, I hardly read the stories in the Herald-Press.
It's difficult enough to get past the headlines.
The January 6 edition was enough to send a home-schooled, spelling-bee geek into a spasm.
The carnage began, literally, at the top. In a teaser headline for the sports section, the promo said:
"Viking gymnists begin season tonight."
I guess that would be the Huntington North gymnistical team.
If you have trouble getting that out of your mind, you can always go to a hypnotast.
After uncrossing my eyes, I continued to wade through the paper and reached the back page and the Dear Abby column. Thinking that I would not see butchery worse than I saw on the front page, I was quickly corrected.
The headline:
"Words Can Inflick Wounds No Apology Can Fully Cure"
No kidding. I'm wounded deeply, and apparently it was inflicked upon me, however that might be.
The only thing I can come up with is this:
"How did that booger get stuck to the wall?"
"I think it was inflicked."
While those headlines are straight-forward, in-your-face in ineptitude, I always prefer the more complex, thinking-man's screwup.
On Page 5A, there was press release (what else is new?) about the winner of the lottery.
The first thing I noticed was the phrase "Fort Wayne Hoosier" in describing the winner. Well, you know, I guess the winner could have been from Fort Wayne, Montana. Therefore, to prevent any confusion, we would need to know that it actually someone from Fort Wayne, Indiana, requiring the addition of the word "Hoosier."
So stunned was I seeing that, I initially missed the other wayward piece of punctuation in the headline. I'm assuming the amount won was $7,500, but the headline listed the amount as "$75,00"
I suppose the headline writer could have been from Europe, where commas and periods are switched.
But I doubt it.
Although I could use the 75 euros.
One of our ongoing tasks is to track the number of ads in each issue. Tuesday's Herald-Press had five block ads, called display ads. (As a comparison, this week's TAB had more than 70 display ads).
The H-P did have a page they call the "Marketplace," where they offer businesses an ad for $85 a month. With the 23 ads there, that's about two grand a month, or $24,000 a year.
What's the over-under on the demise of the Herald-Press?
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Merry Christmas and a Happy New
The new-look Herald-Press began back on April 1, not coincidentally April Fool's Day.
Perhaps bringing a fitting end to the year, the staff closed out 2008 with another beauty, this time in the headline announcing their Citizens of the Year.
In choosing Joel Froomkin and Rich Najuch, the design of the page had a red box over the photo that said "Citizens of the Year." As if we didn't know what the story was going to be about from that, the headline writer decided to spell it out again in the headline, or at least attempted to do that.
Thus, we get, in large-point type hearkening back to the Reign/Rein debacle, is:
Najuch, Froomkin
named Citizens of the
I'm not sure where the mystical land of "the" is, but I'm sure Joel and Rich are proud to now be citizens of it.
As a sidebar to that glaring wonder, there is another headline in Wednesday's paper that also is terrifically misleading.
"Marion recycling begins January"
Where do we start? Is Tarzan writing headlines? How about "Vikings play North Arena?"
Me like. Headline good. Paper bad.
And what's with "Marion recycling begins." It seems to give the reader we're talking about Marion recycling (imagine thing that?) As a Huntingtonian, do I care about Marion recycling? Not really.
You have to read into the story to see that it's Marion Services who are taking over recycling IN Huntington.
See, there's that word "IN" that you might have been looking for. I guess the word "in" ran off with the word "year" that was supposed to be in the other headline.
Don't you hate it when words just jump off the page - literally.
Oh yeah, there's another Marion story at the bottom of the page. At least it's in the headline. The story only says someplace called Five Points Mall. We're guessing it's Marion.
And another thing - no Colts were there, despite the headline. It was only some cheerleaders and the big blue mascot.
But then again, it was in Marion, so why would anyone in Huntington care?
Perhaps bringing a fitting end to the year, the staff closed out 2008 with another beauty, this time in the headline announcing their Citizens of the Year.
In choosing Joel Froomkin and Rich Najuch, the design of the page had a red box over the photo that said "Citizens of the Year." As if we didn't know what the story was going to be about from that, the headline writer decided to spell it out again in the headline, or at least attempted to do that.
Thus, we get, in large-point type hearkening back to the Reign/Rein debacle, is:
Najuch, Froomkin
named Citizens of the
I'm not sure where the mystical land of "the" is, but I'm sure Joel and Rich are proud to now be citizens of it.
As a sidebar to that glaring wonder, there is another headline in Wednesday's paper that also is terrifically misleading.
"Marion recycling begins January"
Where do we start? Is Tarzan writing headlines? How about "Vikings play North Arena?"
Me like. Headline good. Paper bad.
And what's with "Marion recycling begins." It seems to give the reader we're talking about Marion recycling (imagine thing that?) As a Huntingtonian, do I care about Marion recycling? Not really.
You have to read into the story to see that it's Marion Services who are taking over recycling IN Huntington.
See, there's that word "IN" that you might have been looking for. I guess the word "in" ran off with the word "year" that was supposed to be in the other headline.
Don't you hate it when words just jump off the page - literally.
Oh yeah, there's another Marion story at the bottom of the page. At least it's in the headline. The story only says someplace called Five Points Mall. We're guessing it's Marion.
And another thing - no Colts were there, despite the headline. It was only some cheerleaders and the big blue mascot.
But then again, it was in Marion, so why would anyone in Huntington care?
Have an Irish drought on us
While not up to the silliness evident in the Dec. 8 edition, the Dec. 26 edition of the Herald-Press was a day-after-Christmas gift that was truly a delight to unwrap.
The fun, however, was mostly in the cover -- the top half of Page 1, in fact.
We have, at the top, the Irish ending their bowl "draught." Green beer, we assume, which would be a good way for the Irish to end a drought.
We really liked the story about the dead truck driver. Four paragraphs, and it's a scream.
We start with the first paragraph: "At 9:30 a.m. Wednesday the body of a Woodburn resident was found."
The rules of English composition and the standards of good journalism say that the most important information should be printed at the beginning of the story. So the most important information was not where he was found or what he died from. The most important thing is that he was found.
The second paragraph: "He pulled over to the side of the road and was found dead at the scene." You know, if he had just kept driving, he might still be alive today. He was found, by the way, by "Sargeant" Tom Tallman, who used to be a sergeant, but that was in the old days.
The coroner said that he was "found fairly quickly." Probably because he pulled over to the side of the road. Dead men drive no semis.
Finally, the autopsy determined that he had died due to a pulmonary emboli. The media is good at reporting a fact like those.
We go on to the story about Warren's potholes. The fifth paragraph describes how the potholes are formed. I can't for the life of me figure it out.
The sixth paragraph is a gem: "Wabash Central's function in Warren is to service the mills, which Cartwright says is only 26 miles long and the mill isn't a big profit center for them." We have a multiple choice matching game here: Figure out what we mean by "service the mills," exactly what is only 26 miles long, and who or what is the "them" in the concluding sentence. We asked the people behind the Cray supercomputer to work on that; the computer blew up.
Also, the cutlines refer to "Warren Town Council Bill Cartwaright," which is (probably) supposed to be Warren Town Council President Bill Cartwright, but who knows? I ran it past my Italian friends and they said the "a" was in the wrong place. They pronounce his name "cart-a-right."
Don't mistakes just irritate you?
The fun, however, was mostly in the cover -- the top half of Page 1, in fact.
We have, at the top, the Irish ending their bowl "draught." Green beer, we assume, which would be a good way for the Irish to end a drought.
We really liked the story about the dead truck driver. Four paragraphs, and it's a scream.
We start with the first paragraph: "At 9:30 a.m. Wednesday the body of a Woodburn resident was found."
The rules of English composition and the standards of good journalism say that the most important information should be printed at the beginning of the story. So the most important information was not where he was found or what he died from. The most important thing is that he was found.
The second paragraph: "He pulled over to the side of the road and was found dead at the scene." You know, if he had just kept driving, he might still be alive today. He was found, by the way, by "Sargeant" Tom Tallman, who used to be a sergeant, but that was in the old days.
The coroner said that he was "found fairly quickly." Probably because he pulled over to the side of the road. Dead men drive no semis.
Finally, the autopsy determined that he had died due to a pulmonary emboli. The media is good at reporting a fact like those.
We go on to the story about Warren's potholes. The fifth paragraph describes how the potholes are formed. I can't for the life of me figure it out.
The sixth paragraph is a gem: "Wabash Central's function in Warren is to service the mills, which Cartwright says is only 26 miles long and the mill isn't a big profit center for them." We have a multiple choice matching game here: Figure out what we mean by "service the mills," exactly what is only 26 miles long, and who or what is the "them" in the concluding sentence. We asked the people behind the Cray supercomputer to work on that; the computer blew up.
Also, the cutlines refer to "Warren Town Council Bill Cartwaright," which is (probably) supposed to be Warren Town Council President Bill Cartwright, but who knows? I ran it past my Italian friends and they said the "a" was in the wrong place. They pronounce his name "cart-a-right."
Don't mistakes just irritate you?
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Back at it
One of our contributors has an entry:
Here we go. The Monday, Dec. 8, edition of the Herald-Press may be the silliest one yet.
First, we have a story on Page 1, under a six-line headline, about how Indiana State Police officers helped "solve (a) burglary investigation" near Sturgis, Mich. Now folks, let's lay aside the idea that an investigation needs solving. (Crimes need solving, usually because investigations are conducted.) An even better question is: WHAT IN THE WORLD IS AN INDIANA STATE POLICE NEWS RELEASE ABOUT AN ARREST AT THE MICHIGAN-INDIANA LINE DOING ON PAGE 1 OF THE HUNTINGTON HERALD-PRESS?
But wait, as they say on late-night TV, there's more!
The photo of Chris Dodd (not Christopher, as AP had it in the story) has the tagline: "Photo provided." Who provided it? Dodd's office? His late presidential campaign? The "Face the Nation" publicity flacks, who have their eye on the Herald-Press for its prominence in the political world? (The Page 1 mock vote from Lancaster School the day after election day should have been featured by Politico.com. What were those people thinking?)
Then we go inside.
On Page 4A, we have a letter to the editor from "J. Grimes, Director and CEO of the United Fascist Union." Oh, brother.
On Page 5A, we have an EIGHT-LINE headline. This is a new record and will be reported to the fine folks at Guinness. Not the world record people, the ale people. You need to have something to dull the pain after a while.
On Page 6A, we have a photo of a couple of cows. The caption for the photo says the cows "seem unaware" of an EPA proposal. Obviously, someone somewhere is an expert at reading cows' facial expressions.
On Page 1B, we have an illustration of Peyton Manning, apparently painted by Georges Seurat. Instead of "A Sunday on La Grande Jatte," we have "A Sunday at Lucas Oil Stadium." Nice effect.
Underneath that, we have the usual headline-photo-story construction used by the sports pages of the Herald-Press. That is done by no other newspaper in the world. Why is that? Perhaps it's because the reader cannot connect the headline to the story BECAUSE THE PICTURE IS IN THE WAY!
At the bottom of the page, the headline writer apparently ran out of words for the Oklahoma-Florida story. Weird.
The comics page is OK, but the David Gregory headline has only seven lines. That's impressive, but it's not a record.
What a newspaper! A delight to the eyes and a challenge to the intellect.
Here we go. The Monday, Dec. 8, edition of the Herald-Press may be the silliest one yet.
First, we have a story on Page 1, under a six-line headline, about how Indiana State Police officers helped "solve (a) burglary investigation" near Sturgis, Mich. Now folks, let's lay aside the idea that an investigation needs solving. (Crimes need solving, usually because investigations are conducted.) An even better question is: WHAT IN THE WORLD IS AN INDIANA STATE POLICE NEWS RELEASE ABOUT AN ARREST AT THE MICHIGAN-INDIANA LINE DOING ON PAGE 1 OF THE HUNTINGTON HERALD-PRESS?
But wait, as they say on late-night TV, there's more!
The photo of Chris Dodd (not Christopher, as AP had it in the story) has the tagline: "Photo provided." Who provided it? Dodd's office? His late presidential campaign? The "Face the Nation" publicity flacks, who have their eye on the Herald-Press for its prominence in the political world? (The Page 1 mock vote from Lancaster School the day after election day should have been featured by Politico.com. What were those people thinking?)
Then we go inside.
On Page 4A, we have a letter to the editor from "J. Grimes, Director and CEO of the United Fascist Union." Oh, brother.
On Page 5A, we have an EIGHT-LINE headline. This is a new record and will be reported to the fine folks at Guinness. Not the world record people, the ale people. You need to have something to dull the pain after a while.
On Page 6A, we have a photo of a couple of cows. The caption for the photo says the cows "seem unaware" of an EPA proposal. Obviously, someone somewhere is an expert at reading cows' facial expressions.
On Page 1B, we have an illustration of Peyton Manning, apparently painted by Georges Seurat. Instead of "A Sunday on La Grande Jatte," we have "A Sunday at Lucas Oil Stadium." Nice effect.
Underneath that, we have the usual headline-photo-story construction used by the sports pages of the Herald-Press. That is done by no other newspaper in the world. Why is that? Perhaps it's because the reader cannot connect the headline to the story BECAUSE THE PICTURE IS IN THE WAY!
At the bottom of the page, the headline writer apparently ran out of words for the Oklahoma-Florida story. Weird.
The comics page is OK, but the David Gregory headline has only seven lines. That's impressive, but it's not a record.
What a newspaper! A delight to the eyes and a challenge to the intellect.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
BREAKING NEWS
During a call to new Herald-Press publisher Andy Eads, a reliable source of ours was told the Tom Davis is no longer "with the company," and that the Herald-Press is now searching for a new editor.
The latest information from another source is that Mr. Eads told Mr. Davis that his vision for the newspaper did not match with that of Mr.Davis. Mr. Davis was given 15 minutes to clear out his office and leave the building.
More to come as developments warrant.
The latest information from another source is that Mr. Eads told Mr. Davis that his vision for the newspaper did not match with that of Mr.Davis. Mr. Davis was given 15 minutes to clear out his office and leave the building.
More to come as developments warrant.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Everybody's workin' for the weekend!
We love the Sunday newspaper. We can't wait to read the promo headlines at the top of the page, and this weekend's were particularly spicy. You know it's big news when they use exclamation points. All the best journalists pound home headlines with the hammer.
First, there's "Weddings, births and more!" Well, we don't know if we can handle much more than that!
Then there's "More Forester sporting action than you can imagine!" Hey, we can imagine quite a bit. We just hope we're not disappointed!
Let's not forget the "Lots O Savings Inside!"
Monday's paper featured some more recycled press releases that staffers rewrite and slap their own name on.
There were more obituary disasters Monday. Poor Kat Garrison. She died on Nov. 2, and since that time, her obit has been in three times, meaning at least two screw-ups. On Sunday, they ran the obituary with the name "Mary J. Smith" in the headline.
Then there's Robert G. Brown, apparently a visitor from the future, or at least lost in time. It's hard to tell, because there were so many blatant mistakes.
First, he was listed in the headline as living from 1961 to 2008, but in the obituary, he graduated from Lancaster High School in 1946, quite an achievement for someone born in 1961. Or was he born in 1961? Also in the obit, he is listed as being born in the year 2928. So I guess by being born that far in the future, he may have achieved the ability to bend time and space.
Geez, is anybody actually proofreading these things? I would think those would stand out.
First, there's "Weddings, births and more!" Well, we don't know if we can handle much more than that!
Then there's "More Forester sporting action than you can imagine!" Hey, we can imagine quite a bit. We just hope we're not disappointed!
Let's not forget the "Lots O Savings Inside!"
Monday's paper featured some more recycled press releases that staffers rewrite and slap their own name on.
There were more obituary disasters Monday. Poor Kat Garrison. She died on Nov. 2, and since that time, her obit has been in three times, meaning at least two screw-ups. On Sunday, they ran the obituary with the name "Mary J. Smith" in the headline.
Then there's Robert G. Brown, apparently a visitor from the future, or at least lost in time. It's hard to tell, because there were so many blatant mistakes.
First, he was listed in the headline as living from 1961 to 2008, but in the obituary, he graduated from Lancaster High School in 1946, quite an achievement for someone born in 1961. Or was he born in 1961? Also in the obit, he is listed as being born in the year 2928. So I guess by being born that far in the future, he may have achieved the ability to bend time and space.
Geez, is anybody actually proofreading these things? I would think those would stand out.
FRIDAY, Nov. 7
It was hard to believe that Tom Davis actually ran negative letters to the editor, these concerning the election coverage (or lack thereof). I'm sure he had plenty of letters to choose from. It was pretty inexcusable.
Mr. Davis tried to explain by saying that the Herald-Press strives to feature Huntington County-related stories. Well, that's fine, but there are times when national events supercede local stories, even monster local stories like the Lancaster Elementary mock election results.
We can't help but remember what Mr. Davis once told a friend of ours - "If people want national news, they can watch CNN." That's journalistic acumen at its best.
The Herald-Press is also now offering subscriptions for three days a week. Do we get to pick which three days we want? Does it really matter? The trick would be to decide what event you want to read about, then make sure you subscribe to the paper that comes out three days later. That should be just about right on the timing.
How many times can they recycle the same picture? Haven't we seen that YMCA picture at least twice before?
Speaking of photos, what's with running all the file photos, especially in sports? If I see a Notre Dame game story, I want to see a picture from that game, not some file photo taken last week or last year. That's the whole idea of news photography, to illustrate the story.
There's even a problem with pictures that don't go with stories. So many times they're days old. What happened to newspapers being timely? Oh yeah, this is the Herald-Press.
Mr. Davis tried to explain by saying that the Herald-Press strives to feature Huntington County-related stories. Well, that's fine, but there are times when national events supercede local stories, even monster local stories like the Lancaster Elementary mock election results.
We can't help but remember what Mr. Davis once told a friend of ours - "If people want national news, they can watch CNN." That's journalistic acumen at its best.
The Herald-Press is also now offering subscriptions for three days a week. Do we get to pick which three days we want? Does it really matter? The trick would be to decide what event you want to read about, then make sure you subscribe to the paper that comes out three days later. That should be just about right on the timing.
How many times can they recycle the same picture? Haven't we seen that YMCA picture at least twice before?
Speaking of photos, what's with running all the file photos, especially in sports? If I see a Notre Dame game story, I want to see a picture from that game, not some file photo taken last week or last year. That's the whole idea of news photography, to illustrate the story.
There's even a problem with pictures that don't go with stories. So many times they're days old. What happened to newspapers being timely? Oh yeah, this is the Herald-Press.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)