One of our contributors has an entry:
Here we go. The Monday, Dec. 8, edition of the Herald-Press may be the silliest one yet.
First, we have a story on Page 1, under a six-line headline, about how Indiana State Police officers helped "solve (a) burglary investigation" near Sturgis, Mich. Now folks, let's lay aside the idea that an investigation needs solving. (Crimes need solving, usually because investigations are conducted.) An even better question is: WHAT IN THE WORLD IS AN INDIANA STATE POLICE NEWS RELEASE ABOUT AN ARREST AT THE MICHIGAN-INDIANA LINE DOING ON PAGE 1 OF THE HUNTINGTON HERALD-PRESS?
But wait, as they say on late-night TV, there's more!
The photo of Chris Dodd (not Christopher, as AP had it in the story) has the tagline: "Photo provided." Who provided it? Dodd's office? His late presidential campaign? The "Face the Nation" publicity flacks, who have their eye on the Herald-Press for its prominence in the political world? (The Page 1 mock vote from Lancaster School the day after election day should have been featured by Politico.com. What were those people thinking?)
Then we go inside.
On Page 4A, we have a letter to the editor from "J. Grimes, Director and CEO of the United Fascist Union." Oh, brother.
On Page 5A, we have an EIGHT-LINE headline. This is a new record and will be reported to the fine folks at Guinness. Not the world record people, the ale people. You need to have something to dull the pain after a while.
On Page 6A, we have a photo of a couple of cows. The caption for the photo says the cows "seem unaware" of an EPA proposal. Obviously, someone somewhere is an expert at reading cows' facial expressions.
On Page 1B, we have an illustration of Peyton Manning, apparently painted by Georges Seurat. Instead of "A Sunday on La Grande Jatte," we have "A Sunday at Lucas Oil Stadium." Nice effect.
Underneath that, we have the usual headline-photo-story construction used by the sports pages of the Herald-Press. That is done by no other newspaper in the world. Why is that? Perhaps it's because the reader cannot connect the headline to the story BECAUSE THE PICTURE IS IN THE WAY!
At the bottom of the page, the headline writer apparently ran out of words for the Oklahoma-Florida story. Weird.
The comics page is OK, but the David Gregory headline has only seven lines. That's impressive, but it's not a record.
What a newspaper! A delight to the eyes and a challenge to the intellect.
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We cancelled the HP. It was almost worth the
ReplyDeleteprice in entertainment value, lots of good
laughs, but, unfortunately, we took the paper
to get the news. I must comment that the police
call column makes Huntington look like it's
populated with uneducated hicks. I do praise
the HP for hiring the handicapped. Obviously
they employ a blind person to do their editing.
Sad, sad situation. Oh! for the good old
days of the HP when the staff knew what they
were doing.